So as I look around my house I realise it’s happened, I’ve become one of ‘those mums’. You know, the lazy mum, the type of mum you said you would never become? The house is a mess, I look like an old bag and my son is covered, head to toe in banana.
It didn’t happen overnight, it was a gradual descent into chaos. I was always insistent I wasn’t going to be a lazy mum. I wasn’t going to let the washing pile up. I wasn’t going to let my son have a dirty face. I wasn’t going to look old and leathery. Well turns out, this motherhood gig aint all that easy and apologies are in order.
Sorry to the mum with the messy house. I didn’t realise how easy I had it being at work all day while the house stayed clean.
Sorry to the mum who doesn’t wear makeup or brush her hair. I didn’t realise that even getting a shower is considered grooming now.
Sorry to the mum at the restaurant who let her baby eat chips. I didn’t realise how annoying it is thinking of five different nutritious meals in one day.
Sorry to the mum at the pub with the baby not wearing shoes. I didn’t realise that babies don’t like shoes and how unnecessary they are when they can’t even walk.
Sorry to the mum who changed a nappy in the pram. I didn’t realise how inconvenient it is to find changing rooms.
Sorry to the mum who had a screaming baby in the supermarket, I didn’t realise that you can’t control their volume.
Sorry to the mum who’s baby had a dummy, I thought it was the easy way out.
Sorry to the mum who’s baby doesn’t sleep, I thought sleep training worked.
Sorry to the mum who didn’t want her baby to play in the dirt at the park, it’s hard to get those stains out.
Sorry to the mum who’s baby had red cheeks from teething, I thought it was sunburn.
To all the mums that I secretly judged behind your back, I’m sorry for being a mum shaming, see you next Tuesday. I have learnt my lesson and am proudly now one of ‘those mums’.