Motherhood

Girls night out: Pre-baby vs Post-baby

Tonight is the annual Christmas dinner with my friends from High School. One of those wonderful friends, Jess from The Belle Lumiere told me this saying recently that perfectly describes our friendship “Everything and nothing has changed”. A lot has happened over the last 15 years but this is the first Christmas dinner Post-baby and I realised that everything has changed when it comes to preparing for a Saturday night out. So when it comes to preparation here is my list Pre-baby vs Post-baby:

PRE-BABY

Day before:

  • Before work shave legs, armpits and fanny. Exfoliate whole body. Wax moustache.
  • During lunch break get eyebrows did then spray tan.
  • Spend the rest of the evening in scarecrow position on towel on couch.

Morning of:

  • Shower and wash off spray tan, burn sheets.
  • Have a gluten free, dairy free breakfast so stomach doesn’t bloat.
  • Write a list of all the things required to get ready for the night out.
  • Try on various clothing options and choose best option.
  • Go to shops: Buy new outfit, new accessories, new shoes, bottle of wine, get cash out, buy fake eyelashes, buy chewing gum and numerous other unnecessary cosmetics. Eat sushi.
  • Get home and have an afternoon nap.
  • Have a long shower, wash hair, condition hair, apply hair treatment, wash out hair treatment.
  • Moisturise whole body.
  • Paint toenails.
  • Paint fingernails.
  • Put hair in curlers.
  • Put music up LOUD.
  • Prepare face for makeup, pour glass of wine, apply make up, perfect make up, stuff up make up, correct make up.
  • Take hair out of curlers, style hair.
  • Put on the outfit you bought, try on five other outfits then choose the one that you picked out that morning.
  • Change hairstyle.
  • Change outfit again.
  • Pour another glass of wine.
  • Accessorise outfit and choose which bag.
  • Straighten hair.
  • Stuff up nails. Try to fix them.
  • Transfer necessary contents out of day bag to night bag.
  • Brush teeth.
  • Call taxi.
  • Check makeup.
  • Continuously peak out the front window in case the taxi is there.
  • Hear taxi beep then madly rush through the house turning off music, double checking bag then run out the front door.

POST-BABY

Morning of:

  • Up early (not by choice).
  • Drink coffee.
  • Eat scraps from baby’s breakfast.
  • Shower while baby naps, wash hair, shave armpits, consider shaving legs then decide not to.
  • Sleep for remaining time of baby’s nap.
  • Drink coffee.
  • Eat scraps from baby’s lunch
  • Go get eyebrows did, check time then decline when the lady offers to wax your moustache.
  • Eat a whole slab of salami on toast.
  • Drink coffee.
  • Write an in case of emergency baby list for every possible outcome including a tomorrow when the war began scenario.
  • Slap on makeup, brush hair, choose outfit and get in car to drive.

Have nights out changed for you since becoming a parent? Do you even get the chance to have a night out?

pre-baby vs post-baby

 

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