You know when you tell someone something then they come back at you all negative just bringing down the vibe? Well that’s what I mean by stop wasting my flava.
The competitive parenting starts in Pregnancy
You’re tired, I mean really tired. Like more tired than you’ve ever been before. Your body is growing a human being. A HUMAN BEING. You might have just gotten over six, maybe even thirty weeks of non stop morning sickness that lasted day and night like you’d come off a three day bender. You might be getting up twelve times a night to pee. You might not be sleeping because your hip aches and trying to sleep upright on the couch didn’t work, now your neck is sore so you’re fucked and can only sleep in the garden. Someone asks you how you’re feeling. It’s so nice that someone cares, you say ‘I’m tired’ then they reply – ‘Just wait until the baby comes then you’ll know what tired means’ – Stop wasting my flava.
Competitive parenting continues in motherhood
You’re dealing with sleep deprivation, you don’t understand how you used to be able to do a million things in one day at the office and now you can’t even collect a package from the post office. You make a goal – ‘Tomorrow I will collect the package’. Then tomorrow comes and time gets away from you with the constant rotation of feed, nappy, sleep. The baby keeps crying so you don’t make it out of the house today. Someone calls to ask how you’re coping. Oh it’s so nice speaking to another adult. You say ‘I just can’t seem to get anything done’ then they reply – ‘Just wait until he’s moving around, then you’ll never get anything done’. Mate stop wasting my flava.
You woke up 12 times last night, you’re exhausted but you haven’t left the house for a week so you’re determined to get out and live life. You put on some makeup and get the hell out of the house. You go to the local shops, you’re feeling good after an extra large cappuccino. You’re exercising by pushing the pram around Kmart, buying baby shit you don’t really need but it’s on special and that shopping buzz is better than no other. You make a visit to the parents room to change bubs nappy, there’s a couple in there with two kids. The lady asks how old your baby is and you say ‘four months’. The woman says ‘wow you look amazing for four months’, you say ‘thanks’ beaming at the compliment because on the inside you’re rotting. Then the reply ‘Just wait until you have two’. Seriously, stop wasting my flava.
Why can’t we just experience what we’re experiencing without somebody wasting our flava?
When our baby was less than a week old my cousin and his wife came over to take baby photos. My husband and I were buzzing with the new baby, ‘He’s a good sleeper’ I gloated to my cousin. ‘That’s great’ he said. He didn’t waste my flava and let me experience the happiness. Fast forward to 10 weeks in and I saw him at our other cousins 21st. I talked about how tired we were as a couple, how we were playing the who’s more tired game. He gave me a knowing look and said ‘I didn’t want to burst your bubble, you guys were in that newborn excitement phase’. Why can’t we all be like my cousin? Why can’t we celebrate each others wins and let people feel their lows. If someone is feeling bad about something, telling them it’s going to get worse is not the solution! I say lets stop competitive parenting. Even if you’re so jealous that your friends baby slept through the night that you could stab them in the eye. Smile and celebrate that win with them because when it’s time to share your win, you will want someone to celebrate with you.