I’ve been grieving lately, grieving the loss of sleep so I thought I would take you through my five stages of morning… or should I say mourning.
Stage 1: Denial
It’s way too early, it’s still dark outside… He can’t be waking up now… He might resettle on his own… OK maybe I’ll just pop the dummy back in and he’ll go right back to sleep… I’ll get another few hours sleep for sure… Actually I better set my alarm in case he sleeps too long and we’re late getting up.
Stage 2: Bargaining
He’s still awake. Seriously baby if you give me one more hours sleep I’ll give you my first born.. wait that makes no sense. I will give you all the pureed pear your heart desires. I will sing ‘twinkle twinkle’ until my hands fall off. I will let you fall asleep in my arms, heck I will sleep in the cot with you if you please just go back to sleep.
Stage 3: Anger
What. Is. Wrong. With. You?!
You’ve been fed, I’ve changed your nappy, I’ve burped you, I turned on the heater, I gave you an extra blanket, I put a glass of water on the desk in case the air was too dry from the heater. I turned off the lamp, I changed the white noise from rainfall to fan, I turned off the heater, I turned on the nightlight, I bounced you on the fitball, I shhhed you, I rocked you in the chair, I turned on the nightlight… what else could you possibly need?
Stage 4: Depression
I’m never going to sleep properly ever again for the rest of my life. I will never remember what it is like to have energy.
Stage 5: Acceptance
You’re just a sweet little baby who spent 9 months in my womb, it’s not your fault you don’t want to be apart from me. Come lie in mummies arms and I’ll sing you a lullaby…. Ahhh asleep at last.